#8 Kelly Henderson & Karyn Whittington – Scrolling Through Life

Amy (00:00) Welcome to Just a Thought with Amy Keys. We are here to inspire, educate, inform, and entertain. On today's episode, we are speaking of the very modern technology subject of social media and texting. And I am so happy to welcome back my friends, Kelly Henderson and Karen Whittington.

Kelly (00:22) Hey there, thanks for having us again.

Amy (00:24) Yeah, they came back because the friendship episode that we did a few weeks ago was so awesome and we had such wonderful content that I thought they would be perfect guests for this topic. Fun fact this topic was supposed to be with my husband, but he said he thought they should do it because he's heard your friendship podcast and thought you did so well. So here we are. I thought it would be super interesting.

To rattle off a little research that I have done with some t statistics, which I think are somewhat staggering, although I'm not surprised if that makes any sense. Folks, for our daily use of social media, there are 5.24 billion, otherwise 64% of our population on social media of the world.

The average internet use is two hours and twenty one minutes a day, and the age of the heaviest users of social media is age eighteen to twenty-nine. Wow. I know, right? As far as texting, twenty-three billion texts are sent a day, eight trillion worldwide a year, ninety-eight percent of texts are opened, adults send thirty to forty text.

Text a day, teens, fifty to one hundred texts a day, and ninety percent of texts are read within three minutes. Did I do my homework?

Kelly (02:00) You did do your homework. Well done, well done. That's impressive numbers.

Amy (02:04) Yeah, what do you think of some of that?

Kelly (02:06) Pretty staggering.

Karyn (02:07) I think yes. I don't think we realize it at the time. That's a lot of time to spend sending texts, reading texts. A lot of time, yes. Humbling.

Amy (02:15) Looking at a screen.

Looking at a screen. And so the purpose and power of social media, what is the purpose and power in your eyes?

Connection?

Kelly (02:33) The intent is connection. I don't the power can be connection, but there's also a lot more that goes underneath that. It's kind of like the layers of an onion, right? The connection is what draws you in, but then you kind of get sucked into the all kinds of things really, like the things that people post, then that can bring up feelings of envy. Yes.

being left out, all that kind of stuff that comes with it. And then you also see people sometimes you see their their inner dialogue that maybe we shouldn't see.

Amy (03:13) Really? Yeah, that's true. I think some of the positives of social media are networking. Professionally, especially, I have been able to help a lot of small businesses become bigger through networking, through me, through my business. I've seen a great thing of that, great results of that. And sharing life events. That's what I am on there for. I want to see your cats and your dog.

And your kids' milestones and your anniversaries. That's that is truly why I log on.

Karyn (03:48) Same. And I love recording it as a memory to myself because when that anniversary comes up in your memories, I might not be thinking about that great memory. And it's always fun when it kind of surprises you, like, eight years today.

Amy (04:02) I know, I love that.

Kelly (04:04) you know, on that same note, when something comes up that your kids say when they were really little that you've forgotten about. And you think when you're in that moment you're gonna remember that funny little thing forever. And some of those things you kind of forget over time because you know, they do other funny things and it just kinda goes and then it pops up in your memories or your time hop or whatever you're using to look back on that particular day nineteen years ago or ten years ago or five years ago. And you're now like grown children.

Amy (04:10) Yeah.

Kelly (04:33) said something really, you know, inspiring or funny or just all kinds of things. And sometimes pictures come up of my kids as the little bitty kids instead of the young adults that they are today. And that's something that I really like. Or even like between Amy and I, like there's all these like inside jokes that sometimes I don't even know what we po why we posted something. I'm like, what were we even talking about?

Amy (04:54) Like, wow, you thought you were cool in two thousand eight.

Sure thought we were funny. Yeah. Yeah. But positive aspects too are advocacy. We can we can advocate for each other and fundraisers, all the little, you know, little GoFundMe's and efforts to support others in their endeavors. You know, I get invested in things that I see on there. I I am completely attached to this man who rescues octopus. Octopi? Octopuses? Oc I don't know how to say it, what it is.

Because he rescues them from they're very bright and as you know from a book we've read, remarkably bright creatures, fantastic book. But I am invested in these creatures that he's saving. And I always will watch his videos. It's the strangest thing that I never would know about. Also, like sickness journeys with Caring Bridge and some of those things. You can really stay tuned in.

And it does help you help others to know, you know, if something's going on. It's it's really good for those purposes, I think.

Kelly (06:10) And good like PSAs, especially like Caring Bridge sites and those posts about people's health and something maybe they thought was no big deal turned into a big deal and you may not have known about it. So that is a good way of harnessing the power of social media because it does let people know things that you think is I mean, you you think it's just a mold, but maybe it's not. And it's like somebody else posted about it, so you went and got it checked, got yours checked. Right. And

That kind of stuff is super helpful and I do like that part of it. It's also an easy way to let people know if you ha you are on some sort of journey with your health or your parents' health or your child's health. It's a good way to let a lot of people know at the same time without having this have the same conversation over and over.

Amy (06:57) Yes, I love that you brought that up. When I had my big vertigo in twenty twenty five, I knew some people might have seen me and I wasn't myself and I was kind of MIA for like six weeks and I was able to really put myself in a vulnerable space to pla to talk about it and write there on my Facebook page about this is what it is, let me give you this advice if this happens to you. I am like the vertigo hotline now.

I have people who I don't even know who are like, so and so told me about you might know what to do. And I love being able to help people with that because of social media. So it's it's nice. Or my friend Taylor, he is a veteran. Thank you for your service, Taylor, if you listen to this. And he is working on an effort as we speak for the gentleman who is often over by Park and Ridgeway, the

He is help he's not helping him for himself. He is helping Chuck to get a vehicle so he can transport donations for other veterans. It's amazing. And in like two days, he raised eight hundred and twenty dollars out of a thousand dollar goal. So what social media, I don't really know how we used to do that. A phone tree? How do we used to do that?

Karyn (08:18) I don't know that we did. Yeah. At church I guess it was announced and you passed the hat, but it's amazing what can be raised now. Yes, and shared. And you're right, you can you can tell a lot of people in a short period of time.

Kelly (08:34) And look we've all passed that gentleman. Yep. If you live in this area, we've all passed that gentleman. He's out there every day. It doesn't matter how hot it is, how cold it is, if it's raining, he's there.

Amy (08:40) He is out there all.

His story is incredible. All the things he's done for people. So political posts and the constant news cycle. You know, we used to be in an age, or I grew up and you two did too, in an age where you had to wait for the nightly news or the newspaper. Like it was like you gotta wait for Dan Rather at six o'clock, or you didn't know.

Kelly (08:49) I didn't know the story until you posted it.

Amy (09:13) where the president was, or you didn't know what was going on in Congress or p anywhere. Even the weather, you had to wait. And right now, we are just sponges of constant news all day. You just can refresh your phone and boom, you've got 14 forecasts and 27 news cycle opinions. And it's like you don't know who's right, who's wrong. And it's a lot, in my opinion. It's a lot to have that

constant, constant pouring of information. And so I will be honest, people who post politically a lot, I hide. I can't do it. I don't want to know your political opinions. They it is okay that you have them, but I want to see your dog or your trip.

Karyn (10:02) Yeah, I avoid that. That's not where I'm going to discuss that. Yeah.

Amy (10:08) And there was a time where you did not know my political opinion. And you're two of my good friends. There's a time I might not know who you voted for. And now it's like everybody knows everything about everyone in that area. But we don't. And nobody on Facebook has ever affected my opinion on who I'm voting for, for locally, or even if it's like a a new law that's coming in in my little municipality. No one's ever

change my mind by their facial by their facials, by their Facebook politics.

Kelly (10:44) Agree. I've never once posted a political anything. I've never engaged in political post. Whether you're my friend, you're on the news cycle or just some random page I happen to follow. I don't follow a lot of political people because I don't want to have this conversation because to your point, there was a time we did not have those kind of conversations in public. And I kind of think it's like impolite company. You really shouldn't, you know. My mother always told me that you never talk about

church or politics at work. And I kind of feel like Facebook's the same thing. You shouldn't talk about church or politics there.

Amy (11:21) Way to go, Sheila. Yeah. That's a good one.

Kelly (11:24) I mean, she always told me that. I mean, t that's just something that she said. And so I just kind of feel that that's really applies. I mean, I'm very I'm very proud of my religion and I'm not ashamed of it by any stretch of the imagination. But to your point, I'm not gonna convert somebody to Catholicism by shoving it down their throat on a Facebook post. Not to say that other people who post about Catholicism do that, but it's the same thing with politics. We're not gonna change anybody's mind by posting.

Amy (11:53) Doing

it a devil's advocate, because that's what are we do for each other. I do say that some religion posts religious posts I I like. Like sometimes the great Bible verse or a motivation or something like that that I am all there for. But I know what you mean by people trying to convert you or make you not want to be what you are or be what they are. I get it.

Karyn (12:15) And posting about your faith is one thing. I think it's when you get into religion it's it's different. But I'm very grateful out of my f Facebook friend list. I don't have many people that I think would come after me, but I definitely don't post anything political. And I just think it's something that we each have our own decision on how we vote. And I don't put yard signs in my yard. It's just I don't advertise that.

Kelly (12:41) Same. I've never put a yard sign in in my yard. But to your point, what you said, I d I I do post Bible verses and things like that. Yeah. But I like that. But I meant the you you've seen the post. I People post. It's not just Bible verse. It's more they're little jabs. They're little they're little jabs and I don't appreciate that. I don't appreciate that. Even even if I think it's funny.

Or I agree with it. I'm still don't think that Facebook is the place to do it. You wouldn't put it on a bulletin board in a common area of a coffee house. You wouldn't stand in a coffee house and profess your political beliefs to anyone who would listen to you. So why are you doing it on Facebook?

Amy (13:19) Right.

Karyn (13:27) And I'm I join special groups for things that are interesting to me that affect me, a health concern. Yeah, too. Where I feel like there's much more of a we all really want to discuss this. I just assume people wanna see pictures of my cats or my trips as I with them, I'm just like you. It's just definitely not my platform.

Amy (13:32) Yes.

Well, and that's that's there's the whole topic of keyboard courage and I'm following and I'm invested in this young man named Will Roberts, his cancer journey. And a lot of people are invested in this young man. And his mom said recently on a post that they have thick skin and they can take it. They can take the things that people are saying to them in this journey. She said, People who do not know us are making opinions, assumptions, and judgments.

on our decisions for the health journey of our child, and you don't know us. So it's okay to not comment. It's okay to not comment. It's okay to not say something. And she she actually posted that today. So it was so timely. I wanted to throw that in there because it's so true. We are so quick as a society to make opinions, assumptions, judgments about all the things, clothing, people's events, all this stuff. It's so easy to just look at from a

from another lens that wasn't even there and judge or have opinions about someone's journey that you don't know about.

Karyn (14:54) And you know what makes me sad is I think I'm on a couple of parenting pages that I'm not on as much now that my kids are grown, where someone will start it off, please don't come at me. Yeah. But where they just know they're gonna be attacked. I've got some special needs with the child that I sometimes I'm on a special page for, and people really must fear being attacked by a group of people who are in a similar situation.

And it just makes me sad. Mm-hmm. I just wouldn't post if that were me. Or you

Amy (15:27) Can

think it, you just don't have to say it.

Kelly (15:29) Right. But it also that when they people come come for others and comments on those big group pages, and I'm on a couple of pages like that too, and they'll post something because they really do want some advice and they they want to know. I mean, whatever, they're asking anything, and maybe it is a young adult or somebody in college and somebody will come in. Well, they're an adult now. Well, okay, yes, they are an adult, but you know, our young adults they're adult ish. They're legally adults, yeah, but they're not truly like on their own.

Karyn (15:30) Yeah.

Kelly (15:56) own yet. Now when they're on their own, that's a little bit of different conversation, but we're talking about kids, you know, eighteen to twenty-five here.

Amy (16:02) And every eighteen year old's different. Yeah. Eighteen year old might be more mature than another and so on and so forth. So yeah, I get it. And that it's just there's just a lot of that keyboard courage. And sometimes I'll see people say stuff and I'm like, Why did you say that? Like I know you. I've seen you. You're you're a sweet person. You don't why'd you say that? I don't wanna see that. Just like I don't I can be your friend and I don't

Kelly (16:05) a hundred percent. Nine.

Amy (16:30) your religion is irrelevant to me. If you're a good, kind person, I don't need I don't need to know things. I don't need to know your politics. I don't want to see some of the things that people, you know, like come swinging on pages for. It's just it's hard. My husband is very wise and he says, and I've I've told Karen this once before, I'm quoting him, we perceive a text or a post or information that's coming into us.

in the frame of mind we are in at that moment. So let's say you have dinner plans with me and you need to change them. Okay, no problem. But if I'd just been on the receiving end of something or I've got a lot going on, you know, I could be like, that is just the worst text. I can't believe she sent me that. I cannot believe she will not go to dinner with me. Where normally I wouldn't be that way, right? Or also

with the punctuation confusion that I call it, people think you're not excited if you don't use an exclamation. Or I am a very animated person and so are my texts and emails. Whereas one of my friends, her her texts are very flat and there's like, you're like, wow, are you ex you don't sound excited. Like you don't, she doesn't use any punctuation in her text. And she knows that she does it. She's like, I don't know. Even my husband says I do that.

So it's kind of funny because I know her in person and she doesn't mean it. Whereas, you know, you can look at me and say, Amy, I like your shirt ac and I can tell you're happy. But then you might say it on a text and it have an exclamation, but somebody could read that as you're yelling at them. It's just

Karyn (18:18) It's like when you text your child just the letter K and they come back, Are you okay? Are you mad? Yeah, no, I'm fine. It's just short for okay. But sometimes people do perceive it as a tone. And you're right. I think it can see what's going on in your mind. Where sometimes someone's just trying to reply I don't know that I am physically able to send a text without exclamation point emoji. Although unless I'm voice texting and then you don't know what you're gonna get.

Amy (18:35) To perfect. Yeah.

No, or a marriage. Yes.

Kelly (18:48) I think that I mean the three of us specifically, we text like we talk. So a text conversation between the three of us sounds like this conversation or the other one that we did because that's what our texts look like as well. But some people don't. Some people, their texts are completely different. And to your point, you like you know that person, you're like, why are they not excited? Like what you that you seem excited, but yeah. I mean, and then like the kids today that

you use punctuation, that means you're mad at them. What? Yeah. Like I I mean, I can't keep up with the ever changing like

Amy (19:22) I don't want to call out my boys here and I won't mention names, but one of them will send you a text a mile long with every detail. You're gonna know where he's been, what he ate, who he talked to, and what shoes he's got on. The other one is like his dad. It's like a three-word sentence. On the way. Okay, see you later. So everybody has a different style and none are wrong, but I think everybody needs to just

Calm down, it's okay. Or, you know, if you don't text you f somebody back fast enough, and like I'm a quick reply. So sometimes I think people think something's wrong with me if I don't reply quickly. Like I've had people be like, you okay? I'm like, yeah. And we have a habit of apologizing, you, Karen, especially, which is not a bad thing. But society has into this place of everything is so fast, everything is coming so quickly.

That, you know, back when we had an answering machine, we would listen to it and call our per people back, but we'd never say, So sorry, I haven't I was in a meeting and I didn't call you or I was at lunch. Like nobody owes me an apology. It's just what we do. I do it too. We're like, sorry you haven't, so sorry. And the culture's just become that way because we're used to everything so fast. Everything's coming in so quickly. You and I both do that a lot. It's not a bad thing that we do. We're just trying to be nice.

Kelly (20:47) So

A tip I learned from being in corporate America. I don't apologize. Unless I I mean unless something's really like there's it it's warranted. Instead of saying, Sorry it took me so long to get this to you, I say, thanks for your patience.

Amy (21:04) that's a good one.

Kelly (21:06) And it has tried that. It really has flipped it really has flipped that in me. Because you know what? I got to it when I got to it. It wasn't that I was not doing it or I didn't want to do it. I had ten other tasks to do before I could get to that. So sometimes when I get to whatever the project is, it might be tomorrow, it could be this afternoon, you know, whatever the case may be. But I say thank you for your patience. And

Amy (21:34) I love it.

Kelly (21:35) Or thank you for, you know, insert whatever you're saying here.

Amy (21:39) Kieran and I are gonna have so many th patience

between the two of us. Because we both do that a lot. We're just trying to be nice. But I like to thank you for your patience.

Karyn (21:48) Yeah,

I think I just know maybe I've read part of it and I didn't get to finish it. And I really intended to reply sooner, but I didn't have a second. And I will voice text, like I said, a lot, but then that can turn into a stream of consciousness that I wasn't really planning on sending. So I wait till the timing's better. But luckily, unless someone's saying I need to know immediately I don't even know why I would feel the need to apologize now that you bring it up.

Kelly (22:15) It's it's a habit. It's a it's it's totally habit and I'm guilty too. I'm totally

Amy (22:19) Yeah, a lot of people do it. But I think you and I probably do it more than others because we're just trying to be nice and sensitive.

Karyn (22:24) Well

I want people to know they're important.

Amy (22:27) Yes, and you mattered and I promise I didn't forget about you. And sometimes, honestly, I do forget and I'm like, Sorry, I forgot to reply to this or I thought I replied and never pushed send. I'm I do that.

Kelly (22:40) do that too. Or I think or I see something, I'll see it on my watch and I won't be able to answer right away. And I think, I'll get to that in a minute. Well, guess what? It goes away. Yeah. And then it's not a red bubble anymore because I have a thing about the red bubbles on my phone and I need to take care of them immediately. I I you're never gonna find my phone with like seventy two unread texts. Just not gonna happen.

Amy (22:59) No, no, no, no. I gotta have it all clear by the time I go to bed.

Karyn (23:03) pressure that we put on ourselves. Like you said what did what did our moms do? What did our grandmothers do? Can you imagine all the communications we have in one day?

Amy (23:04) B.

it's a lot.

Kelly (23:13) We're not meant to have that. That I I saw an Instagram reel not too long ago and it's something along the lines of that this, you know, the phrase it takes a village. Typical villages were a hundred and fifty people. So we're only supposed to have a hundred and fifty people in our village, but we have the whole wide world.

Amy (23:32) Sure do. Okay, so fear of missing out comparisons and vague posts. Those are like a wide variety of things. I do believe comparing is inevitable online. It's inevitable. You see what other people are doing, what they have, where they're going. And although it doesn't matter, it's hard not to be like, and it it's not necessarily negative. It might be like, I want that shirt. That's a cute shirt. Text the friend. Where'd you get it?

But I don't know if you have read Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucato. Max Lucato, I highly recommend this book. My Monday morning study is reading it right now. And coincidentally, maybe not coincidentally, we covered a chapter it's about if only. And he talks about how we stand at the banks of the if only river. There's the Mississippi, there's the Amazon, all these rivers.

But we as people stand at the if only river and we look across the river and we think, if only I could lose five pounds, if only I could go on that trip, if only I had a nice husband like that lady. I didn't mean that like my husband is not nice. I just want to make sure I meant it as an example or I want a puppy. There's a puppy. I want a puppy. If only I could have those things, would my life be better? And the answer is no, because you need to be content with yourself.

Kelly (24:44) Your husband is the nicest person on the planet.

Amy (24:59) And anything you see online isn't gonna make you more content. Having it might make you happy if you have a nice husband like mine, and you both do. But I'm just saying in general, or someone might be like, I would want something other people have. If only I could have it, my life would be better. And then you get to the better part and then it's like, then you want more. You're always hungry for more. And I think social media really puts puts an emphasis on that of more, more, more.

Karyn (25:28) I feel like we even kind of talked about that with friendship too. It's everybody's highlight reels. So yes, this person went on an amazing trip. This person just planted an amazing garden or she's got beautiful pennies blowing growing. This person, their child is getting married, this person, their child is accomplishing all these things. This person ran a marathon, but they're putting their highlight reels out. But then the person who ran the marathon might be having some financial struggles. Right. I mean, we just never know all that's going on. And I think sometimes

We forget that there's a whole package there. Yep. And we we all have stuff going on in our life that's great and all stuff, you know, that we probably don't put out there. Unless we vague post.

Amy (26:11) The vague you I know vague po vague posts are rough and you know, that leads me to talk about, you know, how do you navigate when somebody is completely different in person than they are online? Have you experienced that? Because I have.

Kelly (26:26) Yes. Most definitely. Most definitely. It's very hard to balance because it's sometimes it's somebody you might know fairly well. Maybe you worked with them, maybe you went to college with them, you know, maybe you have kids in the same the same age and but you knew them fairly well at one point. And now you see this side of this person on social media that you're like, Who is this person? The kids maybe people don't know this, but

When you comment on, you know, we'll say a news organization post, your friends can see that. it kind of just shows up in the algorithm how it shows up. And so I'm gonna make up some crazy, you know, just like you know, Sally Jones, because I don't know anybody named Sally. Or sorry, Sally Jones, it's not you. S Sally Jones is my friend and she comments on a news organization's post about politics. And it is

Amy (27:09) Sorry if there's a Sally.

Kelly (27:24) just off the rails. But the Sally I know doesn't talk like that. She doesn't talk like that in real life. She doesn't go around telling her friends this, that, and the other, but she is bold as bold can be on Facebook. And it's rough. I usually hide Sally at that point.

Amy (27:42) Rough.

Karyn (27:45) Yeah. It's hard to not unsay that.

Amy (27:47) I

know. And that's when I just say just be kind if you can. It's hard. I do. I know. It's hard. What about navigating when you've been unfriended? It's a touchy subject. I will also throw out there that I don't keep a tally of Facebook friends. Like I'm not sitting here I think I have like two thousand Facebook friends. And a lot of those people are people who know me through my business.

So we've become friends or contacts you there or a lot of people find me online personally because that's where they think my business is. And then but I love all of you. I'm not saying you're not special. But having said that, l just last week I have super sweet client. She wanted to tag me on a painting. And she's like, she texts me, she goes, For some reason I can't tag you. And I said, that's weird. You have to be Facebook friends to tag me. And we realized we weren't

Facebook friends anymore. I didn't unfriend her. I would have zero reason to do that. And she had no idea what happened. And so we don't know what happened. And that has happened to me before on my business page. I have lost people and I have no idea how or why. Like I w why would I remove someone, a nice client from my Facebook work business page?

I mean, well, there's some people that have been removed intentionally for for proper reasons, but I would have no reason to remove you from there. If anything, I w want to add you. So some of that can be organically happening and I don't know about the world wide web and how all that works and algorithms, but it can be kind of awkward when maybe you've had to let someone go or I try to do more hiding though, just because I don't want to be

Because it's an outward sign of I don't want to associate with someone and that is so uncomfortable.

Kelly (29:46) I think for me, like you, I don't I don't even know how many friends I have. I couldn't I couldn't come within a thousand or a hundred people of telling you how many friends I have. I have no clue. But I think it shows up in people you may know sometimes and it'll show up. I use Karen as an example. Karen can Would you like to add Karen as your friend? And I think, wait, Karen and I are already friends on Facebook. Now Karen and I are relatively new friends, but we're friends on Facebook. And I would think, why does she unfriend me?

Amy (30:01) Yes, that's

So weird. That's usually how I find or I'll see someone comment on a post of a mutual friend and it'll be like, you know, you can tell if it's a friend or not. And it I'm like, that is the weirdest. So I'm just nice and it's really none of my business if they have. But sometimes I wanna be like, Hey, I did not unfriend you. Like it's not me. Yeah. If is it social media? I did not do it. Is it what is doing this? So I don't

Kelly (30:24) I say like ad friends.

Karyn (30:43) Makes wonder how many people out there. Yeah. It's gone in either direction. Yeah. I don't keep tabs. Me either.

Amy (30:49) I

I I only know because of what you just said or a comment that I'll see. 'Cause I don't have time to go

Kelly (30:56) Or the the the person who couldn't tag you.

Amy (30:58) Right. It's like yeah, I'm like I that's how I find out that stuff and it's just weird. Well, how do y'all think that AI will change the landscape of social media? That is such a technical sounding question. But AI's here and it's not going anywhere.

Karyn (31:17) I mean, obviously we know that it's going to now, based on what we've talked about here, we're gonna have some new things pop up on our phone because it's listening. I think that it's gonna change change it, but I I think I know now there's that little button that has like the pro like the outline of two people and I have to push that to now really see what's going on with my friends. Mm-hmm. Seems like my feed has gotten much more just

other things are in there because I'm sure that they're throwing darts trying to figure out what I might be interested in. So

Amy (31:51) Well, sometimes it's hard to tell what's real. I do find that our youth, especially my youngest son, he can tell if something is AI immediately. He super does not like AI, right? He's like that generation that's like, Why do we do this? I don't understand, you know, don't use search engines and like don't use those that are, you know, use old ones. He just doesn't like it. But he c he'll be like, Mom, that person has six fingers.

Or her face is not real on the right side. I'm like, well I need to get my readers out because I didn't even notice

Karyn (32:25) Hands are one thing you look at. Yes. Hands. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I I will notice I will read something that seems a little shocking and then when I start seeing in the comments AI now. Now I'm starting to look at it more. I need to have proof that it's not AI versus thinking it's

Amy (32:34) That's AI.

Yeah, yeah. I I do feel like AI is gonna get better. So the the the ability to look more real is going to fool us a little more.

Kelly (32:54) And it's already so real. I mean, sometimes people post these pictures and these things and you think, Wow. Yeah. And then you know, to your point you see it in the comments or you really start looking at or your young adult children tell you that's AI mom.

Amy (33:09) Yeah. Thank goodness for our youth. another topic is tests online. When people take these tests, now if you've taken them no shade. And if you listeners have taken them no shade. But things like when you like, you know, do something that will spell out your birthday with your name and it'll it or it'll show everybody if you like coffee versus tea and day night day daytime versus nighttime, all those little things. I don't know if people know this.

Kelly (33:11) Thank you.

Amy (33:38) And I did do the research on this, but and and my husband has mentioned this for years and he says never take the tests. And he's a tech guy. And I honestly folks, if if he says do or don't do something with technology, I would go with it. But he says that, you know, a lot of times that is harvesting your information, like your dog name or your maiden name, if you're using those in there, or if you're using

Your child's oldest child's birth month, whatever. First car, it can be account, it can get account recovery information. Like, you know, when something on your bank is like, what's your maiden mother's maiden name? That can harvest that information and you'll never know it. I think the majority from what I have done research on is that more of it is for marketing. And that stuff is going to is going to affect your algorithm. If you put on there that you prefer ice cream, guess what?

Karyn (34:08) Ooh, or your first car?

Amy (34:34) Hey, TCBY, Baskin Robbins, you're gonna start seeing all that. If you say you're a dog lover, you're gonna start seeing dog stuff. And I think people need to be mindful of giving people their information like that. I mean, I'm sure those tests are fun, but I'm pretty heavy user of social media and I've never, ever taken a test because of who I live with. And he warns me not to.

Kelly (34:56) Yeah.

Karyn (34:57) Well and another thing too is as you know, my husband puts his birth date a couple of days earlier than his actual birthday. So then he starts getting all the happy birthday, happy birthday. But he will say just in an industry where they want to protect your information, that all people need is your name and the not even the year, but just the day of your birthday. The date. So but then honestly, if you on his actual birthday he's when his wife posts happy birthday to my sweet husband

Amy (35:18) Very interesting.

Everybody.

Karyn (35:28) They're still gonna be able to figure out his birth date, especially if it's a milestone birthday, they can get the year from there too.

Amy (35:35) Well, okay, social media platforms, this is more homework I did. So eighty-four percent of people use YouTube, seventy-one percent use Facebook, fifty percent use Instagram, and thirty-seven percent use TikTok. Now I know there's other platforms, but I just went with like those for a a general gauge, and I was really surprised that eighty four percent of people use YouTube. Really? That's hot.

Kelly (36:02) I think that

Staggering number because that's not my preferred place. I mean, do I watch a YouTube video every now and then? Of course, but that's not where I'm gonna spend my time on social media.

Amy (36:17) Yeah. And and I I look at the Facebook being seventy one percent and Instagram being fifty percent and I think, okay, I apply that to my business pages and I have a very heavy following presence, loyalty, all that from clients on Facebook. Instagram, I cannot get traction. I have never been able to. I don't know why, but it is interesting that there are fewer users in Instagram than Facebook. But they're both owned by Meta. They're the same

They're they're owned by the same thing. You'd think people would but I I gravitate towards gravitate towards Facebook so I find it easier to use.

Karyn (36:52) I do too. And then I do have a few friends that are not on Facebook. So I enjoy going on Instagram and looking, but I usually have to have a reason to go there. Or I click on something that takes me there. I just don't wake up and go, Let me look on Insta I should, but I just don't.

Amy (37:05) Yeah.

Now I am not on Snapchat. I I got on it when my oldest was in high school to see what it was all about. And I remember one time he was like, This girl is sending me pictures of her ceiling. And that is something I don't care about and a waste of my time. And I thought, wow, I don't want to see those. I mean, she j I saw the picture. It was literally her ceiling fan because they just snapped the picture and send it. And he thought.

This is of no interest to me. And so I think they use my boys use it a little bit for some communicating, but not for like texting or what. Not and I'm not on TikTok. Same. I'm not on TikTok.

Karyn (37:47) I was on TikTok temporarily and I found it was just too addictive. It's so smart. I mean, you watch one video of kittens dancing to classical music and then that's all you're gonna get. It was so that algorithm was so tuned in to what I liked that I went I remember it was during COVID and I would think, I have been watching kitten videos for an hour. I stop, stop. So I just had to take it off a bit. But you love kittens. I do, but I also

Amy (37:54) I just can only handle so many forms of

Karyn (38:18) You know, there's a real world too.

Amy (38:20) Here's a quiz. It's just a one answer question, actually. But do you know when modern social media first like had its big debut?

Take a guess.

Kelly (38:37) think Facebook came out in the early two thousands.

Amy (38:41) Two thousand four.

Karyn (38:43) But what was the one before that?

Kelly (38:45) My space.

Amy (38:45) My space and then Friend Star, there's all these

Kelly (38:49) I don't know that one. I remember people talking about my space. I didn'

Amy (38:51) Do

that. Nineteen ninety seven is when is when is it's considered the era of modern social media. There was other forms like email and some things, but that was still kinda rough back then. But I thought that was a fun fact that nineteen ninety seven was the year that that was really starting.

I do notice things about social media, like when you walk around, people are so addicted to their phones. And I could be guilty of that as well. But I I noticed on a college campus this fall with tours to my youngest on a campus, I looked around and I said to my husband, All these kids are staring at their phone. A, they're gonna trip and fall. But B, they are missing out on interacting. When I would

In college, when I would walk from one side of campus to the other, I'm seeing my friends. Hey, are we meeting at the library tonight? Are we meeting here tonight? What are we doing? How you doing? And I did not see a lot of that. And it made me sad for that generation, for this this younger generation. But but it's so hard to not look at your phone, you know, it I get it. In that age, that is what they've grown up with and all they know. So no shade on you younger folks, but I do think

That is a misfortune for that generation.

Kelly (40:12) I would agree with that. I think that I mean we're all guilty of it, all of us. Of of being in our phones. And to me, there's nothing sadder than going to a restaurant and seeing a group of people, whether it's a family or a group of women or a group of men and sitting around a table and everybody's got their phone out. Why don't we go to dinner and get on our phones? Like that's so silly to me. It's kind of a pet peeve of mine personally. But

We can put our phones down to have dinner. We can put our phones down to walk to a class or walk into a building. But again, we're all guilty of it. We've all done it. So I'm not gonna sit here and say like I've never picked up my phone at the dinner table or that I've never like been on my f you know, texting or like doing something as I'm walking into a building. But I mean, honestly, I have to put rules around myself for that. so that I don't

do that. I turn my phone on do not disturb at night. It's on do not disturb right now because I can give you my time to dedicate to this. A lot of people can't though. A lot of people rul truly can't. They they need they need that it's like a dopamine hit. They need that buzz of getting the text notifications or Instagram or Facebook or Snapchat or TikTok or all the things.

Karyn (41:30) Any of my notifications turned on. I don't wanna know.

Amy (41:34) Yeah, and with group texts, I'm in a lot of different group texts and I have them all silenced. I love every single soul in every single one of those. But I got some chatty friends now. And sometimes, you know, I'll be like, wow, nineteen notifications. I I didn't have my phone for six minutes. And it's one of my groups, you know, and people are laughing or loving or emojing and all that stuff. And it it can you imagine going the every single time? my goodness, I would be

Wow, I would need I would not like that.

Karyn (42:08) I love it too when my when my boys will call us out too, 'cause sometimes we will my husband and I will be on phones and I can always justify, Well, I'm looking up the movie time or whatever. And my oldest will he's real good at saying, Okay, screenagers.

Amy (42:22) Screen creatures. that's adorable. That is so him to say that to. That is so cute. Well, what do y'all think would happen if social media just went away? I mean, we know it's not, but if we zoomed back b pre nineteen ninety seven, yeah. Yeah. R wow.

Karyn (42:42) hope that maybe we would really be I'm thinking still try to get together, but it'd be a lot harder. We'd have to have the phone tree and leave messages and it would be crazy. But I don't know, part of me wouldn't one hundred percent hate it. I wonder what we would do with our free time though.

Amy (42:59) We're

go old school because I'm kind of an old school person anyway about a lot of like things in the neighborhood, you know. I like to see my neighbors. I don't want to text you. I wanna see you on my walk. So I think it I don't know. I think I think the world was just a little warmer and happier, not warmer temperature wise, heart wise, heart and soul wise. Just a little warmer.

Karyn (43:25) I wonder what the people that have the desire to be a little much of a screen warrior, what they would do with their angst. But I would love it. I'd much rather be in real life.

Amy (43:38) Me too. And you know, when you go old school, I mean, imagine we we had three way on the phones. Remember that? Like right now we have group text and you can have all these people. And it I remember when I'd have to have a friend call me and then I'd have to put them on like the little hang up thing and then reach to another person on the phone and we'd all be like, three of us are on the phone conversation. Boy is

Kelly (44:03) We thought we were so cool. We thought it was so cool that we could do that and you could talk to two friends at one time.

Amy (44:08) Yeah, when I got my first cell phone, it had like a big bag on it with an antenna on my car. Because my dad decided in like my senior year of college when those came out that I should have one. But I had gone all the way back from Memphis to Knoxville dozens of times for college without any phone in my car. It no way for my parents to track me on life three sixty to make sure I was getting there okay. I tell my kids that and they're mind blown. Like I would leave

Memphis, drive five and a half hours with a time change to Knoxville. And they didn't know where I was. And they just count on me to call from the wall phone in the dorm, if I could remember, to let them know I got there. I mean, that is like a foreign concept to me and I used to do it.

Karyn (44:56) And we're we're the generation that gets to see the before and after. Our kids generations are only gonna based on our stories, which they're like, okay, boomer. They that's all they're gonna know. I wonder how they're 'cause we want to know when they get somewhere as we were talking about life three sixty before we we we went on air, that we still kind of like to know where our kids are when they're traveling somewhere. We like to know and

Our parents were fine, we were fine. But we have it's nice to have that peace of mind.

Amy (45:30) Yeah, I couldn't imagine my kid driving five and a half hours and not knowing where they are.

Karyn (45:34) Because just remember when they first start driving, you wanna know where they are every minute, even within the same zip code.

Kelly (45:41) drove from West Memphis, Arkansas to Jacksonville, Florida with a friend. We were both 17 by myself. Now it's four lane highway now all the way. It was not four lane highway back in the eighties when we did this. And I had to call my mom when I got there. Mm-hmm. I mean it was very it was a very common thing. I made that drive multiple times a year.

with no cell phone because there was that didn't exist. Cell phones didn't exist. I had to call my mom. She worked for a company that had an eight hundred number. And so when I went through every major city, I would have to s when I stopped to use the restroom or get gas or whatever, I'd have to call and go through the operator and just to tell her, I'm in Birmingham, I'm in Atlanta, I'm at the Florida state line. And then when I got to my father's I'm like, I'm at dad's. Well you know but that's that's how we did it. And that's the closest thing you'd have. And

Now, so fun fact, I told my car on one of those trips. Wow. In Jasper, Alabama. And we got someone to help us like kind of fix it so it was drivable and we continue driving to Florida.

Karyn (46:50) Yeah, just imagine when you had to use a payphone. at night, find some change, find a payphone, and then call home.

Amy (46:58) Yeah.

Kelly (46:59) I kept quarters. I remember Sam. I do too. I remember Saddam as well.

Karyn (47:00) But it was a dime.

Amy (47:05) I don't know what it would cost now, or do they even exist?

Karyn (47:07) Well you don't see no. They might sell.

Amy (47:10) We were on a college tour recently and we we saw one but it looked like too modern. It didn't look like a phone though.

Kelly (47:16) I saw one in New York City the last time I was there and it was about eight years ago. And it was an actual working phone. We took a picture of it because our we didn't think our children had ever seen one.

Amy (47:26) Well, y'all, it's time for rapid fire. Okay. I've got some good ones on this one. So your most used emoji.

Karyn (47:36) The the smiley face with hearts around it.

Kelly (47:38) Probably the laughing. Like the like Sodways laughing. huh.

Amy (47:42) Yeah, you do that when you text me.

Mine is the like the double pink cart. I think that's my favorite.

Who do you follow most as far as content creators or pages? Is there one that you like wanna follow every day or you check in with every day or you really are like super into seeing what they're doing?

Karyn (48:03) I'm all over the place. It really depends on my mood. Some days it's food, some days it's travel, some days it's ragdoll cats. You just never know.

Kelly (48:11) I don't think I have one specific person, but every now and then I'll think, I haven't seen anybody post in a while. And sometimes it's their whatever they call shadow band or whatever. It's just not showing up in my feed and until I go find their page. Right. Because of the way things were. But I don't have anyone that I've super invested in. But I will say sometimes I think, I wonder if they had their baby or

Like something like that. And I'm like, that's but that person has a I haven't seen them post in a while and I have to go find them. And so I get invested in complete strangers.

Amy (48:43) You and I are gonna be invested in Danny Austin building the house in Nashville. We're gonna we're we're gonna text daily when they get it going. I yep. I am totally immersed in the octopus guy though. It's new. It started a couple of days ago.

Kelly (48:49) Absolutely. Absolutely.

I didn't even know about the octopus.

Amy (49:00) Do you post or lurk more?

Karyn (49:06) I mean, I don't post every day, so I don't know that I lurk. I scan. I'm just a quick scanner.

Amy (49:13) Scanner. I like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Kelly (49:16) can I think a lurker is someone who never posts, never comments, but knows everything going on on. So that's a lurker. That's a lurker. If you engage, I don't think you're a lurker. But even though I don't post every day, I will like your post or comment on your post or in other people's too. So I don't think that makes me a lurker, but I don't post every day or every week.

Amy (49:22) Would be my husband.

I'm married to a lurker and he'll admit it. The other day we were Saturday, we were at a party and I I we were leaving and I go, I wonder where so and so was. He's like, They're at the beach. And I was like Now, if you know him, you know that's hysterical, right? Bless his heart. But I was like, the beach? How did you know that? He's like, Well, Facebook. I was like, You do go on there. You do. And his his like profile picture is Walter White from Breaking Bad.

And it's been that since like 2010. Forever. He acts like he's never on there. And he'll say, I saw, or if this happened with so and so. I'm like, How do you know that? He's like, Facebook. Or or he says, he he already he knows when I post something. He like, I I was like, What'd you think of that? Or what would you think that picture of the dog or whatever? He's like, I go, you need to make sure you see it. It'd be like, I already saw it. I was like, Well, how did you see it? He's like, Well, I get notified when you post. And I'm like, You do?

Do you follow me, creepy guy? What's going on here? So anyway, he's a lurker. He he will never post. He does not want a social media footprint at all. No. And he's married to someone who has a huge social media footprint. So opposites do attract.

Kelly (50:46) And he doesn't comment and he doesn't like.

Amy (50:56) PDA on social media, yes or no.

Kelly (51:00) Absolutely not.

Amy (51:02) When people are like, I love you, love you, love you, love you like you know, it's kinda like a little much sometimes. That's the kind of PD. I know.

Kelly (51:11) Can I be totally honest? I mean, it makes me wonder who they're trying to convince.

Amy (51:17) That's fair.

Karyn (51:17) It's

true because sometimes when you hear about like in these crime mysteries, somebody would have like before he killed his wife, he was very smooshy gooshy mm in his post. Yeah.

Amy (51:28) solder a new boat

that he could use later. I've watched a l I'm a big crime true crime person, so

Karyn (51:36) You d you're right, you never know.

Amy (51:38) Interesting. Pictures that stay on the page or stories that disappear? What do you use more?

Karyn (51:48) Mostly a post because I I'll be honest, I don't remember if stories come back in your memories. Okay. So if it's something I really want to remember, I do a post.

Amy (51:54) They don't.

Kelly (52:00) It depends. I post my dog a lot. So sometimes I'll post pictures of her in stories because I don't want to overwhelm people with the love of my dog.

Amy (52:10) do have to have a little criticism of you have not had win winnie Wednesday enough. Okay. You're not consistent. Consistent I want for your Wednesday you can tag me on it every time I go, here Amy, here's your Winnie Wednesday. But you've been slacking a little on the Winnie Wednesday.

Kelly (52:16) I know I'm not 'cause

I usually I've been putting in stories the last few weeks.

Amy (52:27) Well, there you go. See, stories disappear. Late night scroller or morning scroller?

Kelly (52:38) I do both. And then I don't really do anything in the middle of the day. Like that's I have some time in the morning. I get up early enough to allow myself some time to just sit and be. And part of that time, sometimes I scroll, and then I don't touch it all day during the workday. And then again at night, late at night.

Karyn (52:43) Me.

Amy (52:58) So I I did I did my homework and I did some research about the effects of late night scrolling. Avoid one to two hours before sleeping. Suppress it suppresses avoid scrolling on your phone. It suppresses melatonin, disrupts circadian rhythm. Suggestions are use a filter, switch on dim or wear amber tinted blue looking glasses, which I don't wear an amber glasses before bed.

Mental stimulation can harm sleep as much as light itself. Advice. And I I am not kidding on this advice. Number one, instead, listen to a podcast. I was like, all right, read a physical book or write or reflect. Now I'm gonna tell you, if I read a physical book before bed, I can't make it past two pages and I'm out. But if I'm scrolling, that blue light has got me, I guess, stimulated and I can do it for hours. So I thought those were good tips.

Do you have pet peeves about texting?

Kelly (54:02) Texting.

Amy (54:08) While you're thinking I'll do mine, I don't like it when people who I have never texted with before don't tell me who they are. Tell me who you are, please. I'm sure you have a lovely name.

Karyn (54:14) Mm-hmm.

Kelly (54:21) I don't get a lot of texts from people I don't know, but you do, and I understand. So that's a little bit different. I think for me, I don't really have any pet peeves so much as I mean, sometimes burst textures annoy me a little bit, but it's not really a pet peeve. It's more like, my gosh, can you just string together the paragraph instead of sending sending me twelve texts when you could have just put it in four sentences?

Amy (54:44) Guilty I'm guilty.

Kelly (54:47) Well, you don't do that every day, every time you text me. Yeah. You usually it

Amy (54:51) That's when I've got a lot to say in a quick amount of time.

Kelly (54:53) Well and you know, to what you said earlier, there's a do not disturb on text and I mean I've put you on to not disturb before. If I'm busy, yeah. I can't and and usually it's not like life changing text. It's something that

Amy (55:06) You're out to dinner with your family and you gotta you don't want the sound twenty times at dinner.

Kelly (55:12) Or I mean I'm working and I'm on a call and you know, it's not something urgent. I mean most of the time most of the time, most of our texts are not urgent. They might feel like they are to us, but if it should be they should be a priority.

Amy (55:22) What about you, Karen?

Karyn (55:26) feel like I am my own pet peeve with my voice texting. And then I try to go back when I have a second and edit it so it makes sense. So words that I swear I didn't say that are in there I can correct. But yeah, I think sometimes when someone knows you're waiting, I've got, you know, we all maybe have that friend that expects a reply immediately but then takes forever to reply. But then I also have to just again

Give people patience and grace and 'cause you never know what's going on in someone's day.

Amy (56:02) And I always find it odd that people, you know, I don't find it odd. It's just nature of of social media is, you know, you wouldn't call me at three AM, but you might text me if you're up at three AM. And that is another thing about social media. As a business owner, I get a lot of texts in the middle of the night when people are scrolling or they've thought of something at last minute and they're like, I just need to text her now before I forget. And I get it. My phone is on silence from ten PM to seven AM.

So it's no problem. But I do know that society has changed in that way too. We tend I mean, I try to not text people after ten o'clock is but sometimes if I know you silence your phone, I'm I can text and go get it in the morning. And I just think we're just used to doing that.

Karyn (56:46) Well, or if you know you've got a night owl friend, you know you can text me. Right. It's not gonna wake me up, but I might see it. Right. That's when I do my best problem. Is most people are sleeping. Mm-hmm.

Amy (56:53) 'Cause you're solving all the problems.

Kelly (56:57) Yeah.

Amy (57:00) So yeah, anything else about social media that you ha wanna add to this podcast?

Karyn (57:07) think this is great. I'm glad you did it. I think sometimes it's healthy to take a detox. I have done that, or I will take it off my phone because I find how many times I reach for it. It's kind of like when your power's out and you forget and you keep going to hit the light switch and you're like, it's off. It's off. I will take it off my phone and realize how many times I go, I'm waiting in line at the grocery store and pumping gas that maybe I could spend that time doing other things.

Kelly (57:34) I think it it it becomes a very big habit and I agree with the not filling every second that you have with the phone. And most of us have the T V on a show and we're watching something and we also have the phone in our hand. I mean, like, do one or the other.

Karyn (57:53) Poor brains.

Amy (57:54) And ladies, please don't be on your phones in parking lots. Dangerous. Please be careful for many reasons. And and you know, not that everybody needs safety Amy here, but a few weeks ago I was in a parking lot and a gentleman and his pregnant wife were walking through the parking lot both on their phones. Like and there were cars everywhere back and out. It was a grocery store, so they're all you know, it's crazy b those lots. And I thought, I mean, they both had no

Kelly (57:58) that's so dumb.

Amy (58:23) situational awareness. And I do think that this does take our situational awareness. Sometimes I'll I'm guilty. Sometimes I'll arrive somewhere and I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna text when I drive. So let me do this real quick and, you know, or I'll check it in the in the parking lot. And then I I have not had situation situational awareness, which is very unsafe for your own protection. So there's that. And college students, watch where you're walking and look up from your phones and say hi to your friends.

Because they want to see your sweet faces. And that's a wrap, y'all. Everybody, you can find me on Spotify, Apple Music, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, and now Audible. And if you would like to reach me about being on the podcast, have suggestions, comments, information, or guests you recommend, I would love to hear from you at Amy Keyspodcast at gmail.com. That is A-M-Y-K-E-Y-S

podcast,

at gmail.com.

Till next time.