#9 When Caring Gets Complicated: Finding the Right Path for Aging Loved Ones - Heather Bryant

Amy (00:01) Welcome to Just a Thought with Amy Keys. We are here to inspire, educate, inform, and entertain. Today's episode features Heather Bryant with Trua Mid-South. This is a senior living locator's business that she has just launched for the Mid-South. Heather, we are so happy to have you. We are looking forward to hearing your story and all that comes with it today. So welcome.

Heather (00:27) Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it and I'm excited to be here.

Amy (00:31) Very proud of you for what we're about to talk about actually is taking on your actual life experiences, seeing a need and feeling it. So that's a blessing for our mid-south area. So since we're talking about seniors this episode, I did a little research and I have found some stats, and they are this that 61.2 million people, which is 18% of our population, are senior citizens.

And the four leading states of senior citizens are Maine, Vermont, West Virginia, and Florida. And it is projected there will be eighty million senior citizens by twenty forty because we're living longer.

Heather (01:17) Yes, we are.

Amy (01:18) And Utah and Texas have the least with fourteen percent senior citizen population. So I wanted to throw that out there because I like numbers. I I like to see a like a picture of

Who your niche is, and that's a big niche.

Heather (01:33) Well, because of the baby boomers, we actually have between ten and twelve thousand a day turning sixty five.

Amy (01:41) Wow. Wow. So all right, let's jump in. Why are you here today and tell us your story from twenty seventeen to now?

Heather (01:50) Well, I saw you were putting on this podcast and knew I wanted to be a part of it and I'm so excited to be here.

Amy (01:56) Yeah.

Heather (01:58) I'll tell you a little bit about my history and then what led me to starting Trua Mid South. In November of twenty seventeen, I have a special needs brother who was on his daily walk. He just that was his exercise. He just walked the cove like twice a day.

And when he was out, he saw a neighbor pulling in their driveway and he turned to wave. And when he did, he went face down into the concrete and his head bounced like a basketball on the concrete, bruising his spinal column. My dad, my neighbor the neighbor went over and got my dad. My dad came out to check on him. They rolled him over because he was face down in the concrete. They rolled him over and was like, Ryan, why didn't you try and stop yourself? And he said, Dad, I couldn't.

And so with that they rushed him of course to the hospital, did some looking and it seemed he had a bone score they didn't know about that nicked his spinal column when he turned away if it caused paralysis and he went down and it bruised it, causing like I said, quadriplegia in him. Wow. Because it's an incomplete fracture, it was a bruise, he could he could have regained some mobility or some movement in his limbs, but being special needs.

he didn't quite have the focus or the attention needed to really get that rehab back and get everything back. So he did get some arm movement back eventually. We went to Shepherd's for the about three months and then we came back and he continued therapy here and he lived at home for a little while.

The trouble is finding health care providers that are reliable and it got to be a lot on my parents and on my sister in law and my brother and me.

Amy (03:40) Did he move home with them? He did. Okay. Yeah.

Heather (03:42) yeah.

Amy (03:43) And they're already senior citizens at that time having to take care of a special needs quadruplegic. Correct.

Heather (03:49) Correct. He came home in a wheelchair, unable to really do much for himself. And so it was very hard on them and it was it was aging them tremendously very quickly.

Amy (04:01) Sure, it would age anybody. Correct. Yeah. Correct.

Heather (04:04) So in the fall of twenty twenty, so you know COVID's going on. Right. He got a we got him into a facility that's been pretty wonderful for him. But it was not an easy, you know, path to figure out like where we wanted to go, what we wanted to do, how we wanted to do it. And it really was eye opening as to how overwhelming and how no one there was there to help to help us figure this stuff out. We just kind of had to figure it out ourselves.

Amy (04:32) Lot of Googling.

Heather (04:33) A lot of Googling, a lot of trial and error. Some things went well, some things didn't. yes, we learned a lot and it was not a path I would recommend for most people. Then in January of twenty one, so he went in in the fall of twenty twenty and things were good. The problem there was, you know, it was twenty twenty, so we weren't able to be there to educate people on how to care for a quadriplegic, which made it, you know, a little difficult. But in January of twenty one

Then my dad tripped and fell in his kitchen and pinned his neck against the pantry door, causing the exact same injury my brother had, which is bruising in the spinal column in the exact same place.

Amy (05:11) Wow, what are the odds of that?

Heather (05:13) Not

Amy (05:15) Wow.

Heather (05:16) lightning shouldn't strike in the same place twice at all. So when that happened to my dad, same thing. He went and had the surgery here and then went to Shepherd's for several months. He was able to gain a little bit more mobility, but

He sustained a brain a brain injury in the process, exacerbating and accelerating early onset dementia or Alzheimer's or something. So that made his focus very difficult in his rehab process. So it wasn't great either. He also came home from there. And again, we had in home care. Again, people were not reliable. It was very hard on my mother, my brother, my sister in law and me, and and it was

eye-opening again to know how difficult it was to really navigate the whole senior care space, right? And so, but we found a facility for him as well that we thought fit his needs. And that was the key to Trua that I just really connected with is they i is the system and the the software we use matches a need to a capability. So if a patient needs certain things,

it's gonna match and make a recommendation for the facilities that can really offer that. So that's what excited me and and made me kind of go down this path of of starting something new was there's not anybody out there to help to lead you through that process of figuring out what works, what doesn't, where the right next steps are. And we wanna be that resource for others since we've been through it twice now.

Amy (06:52) To do this, you obviously have a passion to do it through what you have. You've literally lived this with your family. But in addition, let's add that you left your other job. You you quit your other job to do this. So that's a leap of faith. And you obviously believe in what you're doing because many, many props to you for being willing to say, Hey, I see this need, I can be the change.

Heather (07:19) prayed over this for years, several years, because I just saw how difficult it was, and so many people I knew had been through similar things, not as grave as what I've been through, but but still trying to navigate a world that just doesn't have a lot of guidance and a lot of support. And so after a lot of prayer and a lot of soul searching and and again, I looked at Trua for about a year before I decided to start it.

here in the mid south to be able to help people in this area. I'm a native Memphian. I love it here. I want to give back to the community and I wanted to do more. I had a very successful career in supply chain, t something totally different, but I can take a lot of the skills that I had gained there and apply it here and help people and I love it. Be a lot more fulfilling.

Amy (08:07) Like through your prayers, God is using you to pay this forward and help everybody else. So I love it. Well, so part of your platform is five hidden signs that a senior may no longer be safe living alone. So I thought you might want to talk about that a little bit.

Heather (08:23) Yeah, for sure. You know, it's a hard decision, you know, when you start talking to your family members, whether they're young or old and kind of what those next steps look like. But when you start seeing things like falls, you know, that's a early indication that okay, they're not as steady on their feet and maybe not going to be safe home alone anymore. Balance issues if they're having to really

Hold on a lot, you know, as they walk around. I mean, there's always that worry they fall, but bump their head and it becomes something worse than it needs to be. Right. Another sign is any kind of medication mistakes. My aunt, I have an aunt who lived to be ninety nine, and I remember w before we moved her in with us when she got to that point is she wasn't taking her medicine like she should. Or she would take too much. And in either case, that's bad. Yeah,

Amy (09:11) Be really bad. Yeah.

Heather (09:12) correct. So

Medication mistakes are a good sign. Another one is poor nutrition or loss of appetite. That same aunt got to where she wasn't eating. I mean she just never was hungry, she said. I th I think taste buds kinda s stop working at some point and

Amy (09:27) When my mother in law had Alzheimer's, she just forgot to eat. and she was never hungry. Correct. So, yeah, that would definitely be a

Heather (09:37) Yeah. And so if you're not if you're not giving your body the right nutrition, it's not gonna perform for you. It's gonna cause some of these other things. So just something else to watch out for. Right. Another one are memory concerns, you know, if you know somebody that's kind of forgetful or they repeat themselves or they forget that they asked you the same question recently. I mean, those are things to watch out for because if they're forgetting things like that, th what more important things might they be forgetting? Right.

And then finally just the household chores. Like are they able to really maintain that home properly? You know, they're having difficulty managing their home. More than likely they, you know, don't need to be in it by themselves. Right.

Amy (10:18) Right. And safety things like remember to lock the doors and all that kind of stuff. Yeah.

Heather (10:23) sure.

Amy (10:24) So can you assist all ages? Of course. Okay. Yeah.

Heather (10:28) So anybody that like my brother, for instance, he's the youngest person in his facility. But anybody, yes, at any age we can help because we can look at what are the needs and then what are the capabilities of that facility and kind of match the two. We want to find a little bit younger community if we can for someone younger, but we also really want to get to know the person and understand like what do they like to do and does that facility provide those kind of things?

Amy (10:54) So if I know a lot of my, you know, we're in the sandwich generation in the early to mid fifties and I know I have heard quite a bit of friends say, you know, my my parent needs to go here or it's time to do this, but they're not ready. Like how does somebody even have that conversation without the trials and tribulations that come with the hurt and the denial and all that? How do they even start that conversation?

Heather (11:24) Delicately. Yeah. My best advice is to meet them where they are. And I know that sounds a little hard, but I think you you can ease into the conversation, right? And you can kind of talk about it as they're ready and kinda as they get there. It was not an overnight decision for either case of my brother or my father. It became a need based on the things that happened, right? Right. And so

I'd also say, you know, assisted living communities provide services for important aspects of the senior lives. And if they

Amy (12:01) A

Heather (12:02) it's if they get a good match, I think you really increase the longevity of that life potentially because they don't have the risk of loneliness. They don't have the risk of as big a risk of certain things, you know, happening.

They can get stay involved in things they enjoy doing because more than likely they're not driving to do their own, you know, right to their own activities and now they're just walk away and they have professional caregivers around them to help them. So, you know, there's a lot of benefits that will improve the overall health of seniors. And I think that's part of the conversation, the physical fitness that they could get, you know, if they wanted it.

Amy (12:46) And I think part of in being in a in a assisted living, some of them are really nice these days. And I know the community and the the activities that are there can really help their mental health and their happiness.

Heather (13:02) Absolutely. The intellectual stimulation is there. There's the activities like you mentioned. It is very restor resort style, a lot of them. And, you know, another another thing to think about is their like medical and hair appointments. Doctors come to them there. They don't have to go if they don't, you know, want to. They can. They can go if there's a specialist or somebody you want to see. But there is a general, you know, geriatric usually doctor there on site. There's nurses on site.

There's usually hair appointments, like you have salons and such on site. So I mean, there's things that are part of their activities and their routines that now they don't have to go somewhere to do. They're just there to do.

Amy (13:44) So okay, you mentioned matching a little while ago. How how do you start that matching process? Like if I come to you about or I'm hypothetically coming to you about a parent, yeah. How do we start that matching?

Heather (13:57) So I wanna get to know your family member a lot and I want to really spend some time learning what they like, what they don't like, and then what are those medical and physical needs that they have. Because the better I know the person, the better I then can see them in a facility or wherever. So I you know, we would we would we have an input form, you know, that we would follow and ask a lot of questions and the more you share, the better.

You know, because that then gives me what I need to really make that match. 'Cause I do the same thing with facilities. I go in and do a laundry list of questions and I go tour every facility and I get to know everything there is about the facility. So that when the time comes and if we have several to choose from, we can go and speak to each one and go tour together and see what you think, what I think, and and then make that match. So

kinda.

Amy (14:50) Kind of like a dating show.

And I was thinking about like when we were looking for places for my mother in law, it was it was twenty twenty. Yeah. So of course that it was literally like right before the shutdown. And I think we also looked we got more aggressively looking in twenty twenty one for we didn't get aggressively looking, that didn't sound right. We started looking more aggressively, excuse me. But

Things that things that were priorities to me were her safety, proximity to us, and good people that worked there. And cleanliness. But what are a few other things that you'd recommend people who like me who are a lay person and not in this industry should be looking for?

Heather (15:41) think you hit the nail on the head on those that you mentioned. Quality of life is really important, right? What's their quality of life gonna be there? What care do they need? And is it in a safe and comfortable environment? And are the is that facility able to provide that? What things does your f family member like to do? Does that facility offer that? Again, it comes to that quality of life, right? And then finally their personality is very important because if they want less

or I should say more independence or less independence, there are facilities that offer more or less depending on what those needs are. So there are places out there that you would think they were living in a resort and nothing really changes about their life other than the size of the space that they're in to sleep in. So but if they need more, there's facilities that allow for that as well.

Amy (16:36) You know, some seniors are very my my mom is an example. She was a very good planner and she was very organized. And so I knew if my dad had passed away before her, which it he did not, she passed away last October. But she had a plan that if something happened to him first where she was going to go, she knew where she was going to go. She knew the the specific

place in that place she wanted to be, she knew because she'd picked a proximity that was close to all of her places where she was going and shopped and her hair person and her Trader Joe's, all those things. So she knew what she wanted. But do you think that most people don't plan that and have no clue? I think there might be a little denial factor that we're getting older and we don't want to think about those things. So there's a little bit of stumbling block there.

Heather (17:30) Agreed. Yeah. I don't think it's normal for people to plan that far out. And usually w you know, it doesn't hurt to plan like the area and all, but your needs may change. Right. And that facility that you may think you want to be at may or may not provide the best care for whatever that need is. So that's the only watch out to getting really dead set on one particular place. And I will also say f facilities change over time.

Amy (17:57) I've heard that. I've heard people say, Well, you know, my mom was there 10 years ago, and then someone's like, Well, I wouldn't put her there now. You do hear that. I think management changes, staff changes, and I'm sure staffing is just a bear for this industry. It's a hard job. Agreed. You have to be called to want to work with the elderly. I mean, it's

Heather (18:18) Okay.

Amy (18:18) you have to be called. They're so special, but there's a lot that goes with it. Toiletries, toiletry.

I mean there's so many things happening there that it does take a special person, not just anybody to work.

Heather (18:31) Agreed. And honestly, that's one reason for them going to a professional location with professionals versus staying home because they're trained to handle people in all states of their medical need. So my dad, like I mentioned, had the kind of early onset, Alzheimer's or or dementia or something that had accelerated when he had his injury. Well, he got very

uncharacter uncharacteristically rude and said things that he in his right mind would never have said, which was really hard on the caregivers and ultimately why they ended up leaving. And so they weren't while they thought they were trained for it, they really couldn't handle it. Whereas when he was in somewhere they did, they handled it. They knew how to handle it. They knew how to deal with that piece of the puzzle.

So that's one of the things, you know, that's super important when you're looking around at places is are they well staffed? What is their turnover? It is unfortunately part of the industry right now, but like you said, it takes a special person and there are special people in all those places.

Amy (19:41) Well, in that whole like denial of possibly the person who needs assisted living, there's also the denial, the guilt, the sadness on the actual family as well. When my mother-in-law n my father-in-law and would start needing assistance with her with some bathing. And one day he's like, I just cannot do all this myself. And and she had she had Alzheimer's for about, I would say eight years. My father-in-law is gonna say 10.

Because he lived with her and he saw the changes. But in I think twenty sixteen, she just said, I'm not driving anymore. Like here's my keys. She was in no denial about what was going on. She had all the testing and all the things. And, you know, for many years we did it didn't even seem like anything was wrong with her, but we didn't live with her. And they live out of town. So there's an agency where they live in Arkansas, which reminds me a lot of what you're doing. And they made

an enormous difference in our life because A, I live three and a half hours from from them. B, I can't be there all the time. C, I'm the daughter-in-law, not the daughter. And so they were super approachable. They were super helpful. Like you just felt like you were with the warmest, nicest people on the phone who genuinely cared. They were just good people and they sent

wonderful caregivers. And one of them, Courtney, like sh she came to my mother-in-law's funeral and she bought them presents. And I had a texting rapport with her for a long time. Like I know when she had her second baby and I knew all about her son's ear in ear infections as a baby. Like you become they're these caregivers are part of the family. Correct. And they made our life so much easier from afar.

And they always sent quality people. Were all the people perfect? No, you're never gonna have perfection. Courtney was pretty perfect though. She immersed herself into every day she came from like nine to one, which it gave my father-in-law time to run to the bank or the grocery or do the little things he needed to do. And it gave him company too, because he needed the interaction. And

They were a blessing. So that's why I was taken with this when you told me about yours doing this, because I really think you can be a big big help.

Heather (22:09) The good news is for families it's free. There's no charge to families. So the facilities, you know, are the ones that end up paying for services but ultimately. But it's I mean, and it's for me that it's personal. I want to make sure, I mean, I know the grave consequences of not getting that fit right. And that's what I want to bring to people is the ability to find the make it as easy as possible and find the right fit for

their family member in a location that makes most sense because professionals, you know, when you have professionals helping you guide you through that process, it's just a lot easier than you trying to wing it and Google it and do things on your own.

Amy (23:00) So what happens when you have a match, but then there's a wait list for that for that facility?

Heather (23:06) Well generally that's part of the matching process. Okay. Okay. How the availability and the timing of it. So that shouldn't become a issue.

Amy (23:14) 'Cause I know there's some people who are just completely determined they're going to go to the one place and they don't want to go anywhere else. And then I find out I know one in town has, you know, years wait lists and you might not make it that long. So then you gotta go to plan B. So the matching makes it so if somebody says, I can't wait two to three years, I need to get some my parent in somewhere three to six months from now or like next week, you will match them.

Heather (23:42) We will match them with what's available that that best suits their needs.

Amy (23:46) So you're taking a lot of research off of a already stressed person's plate. Correct. And I think in this day and age. We'll take all we can get in life to take all the stress stress off that we can.

Heather (23:56) Let his goal.

Amy (23:57) What are some misconceptions about senior care and memory care and in home care and so I would say Okay.

Heather (24:05) I I I'll give you three. Right.

The first I would say is that senior care is often misunderstood as a total loss of independence and is only for the serious ill, which is, you know, not the case. In reality, you know, care options are really designed to support independence

Amy (24:24) Safety.

Heather (24:25) and socialization through tailored, flexible and supportive

Means.

Amy (24:35) Okay.

Heather (24:37) The second is that people often picture a really cold, hospital like environment. And it's just like we mentioned earlier, in reality, these places are like resorts.

Amy (24:48) Yeah, some of them they're

Heather (24:49) Yeah. They're like five star hotels or nice all inclusive resorts somewhere. They've got beautiful amenities and very, you know, kept up to date. In fact

Where my brother is, they won't even allow anything that looks hospital like in it. So like we wanted to put a sign on the wall about, you know, you need to talk to him and tell him what you're gonna do before you do it. Just so that as people come in, they know that stuff. Or even any of the paraplegic type stuff. We wanted to put all this stuff around to tell them and they're like, No, we don't want it to look like that. We'll put it inside a closet door and we'll tell people they can look in the closet door and see it. So that's what we do. so so yeah, they are not

hospital like b in most of cases. They're more like homes. And then the third really misconception that I think we have to dispel is that family caregiving is always best. Now don't get me wrong. Families, you know, family support is invaluable and you gotta have that. But professional caregivers offer specialized training and essential respite for family members, just like you were mentioning. You know

Families are the ones feeling the burden to provide all the care. And unfortunately, you know, sometimes they're not the best suited for it. They don't have maybe the caregiving training or the patience or the strength to do it. Right.

Amy (26:17) And then ends up even a less safe environment for the caregiver and correct the receiver of the care. So I can see how that could be definitely I know I know that I hear, you know, one one of my friends' moms before she passed, my friend was saying a lot about how I mean they just couldn't keep anything there. Every they kept stealing their stuff and how angry and upsetting that would make you to steal from your loved one. And so

They just stopped taking stuff there. And that makes me so sad. Yeah.

Heather (26:50) Didn't I haven't run into that so much. I mean, and again, we don't keep keep anything super valuable. I mean, both my family members, my brother and my dad, both had iPads they kept there. That's how we communicate. We'd FaceTime with them because neither one of you really used a phone. Right. So we will FaceTime with them to be able to see and talk to every day. It's

Amy (27:09) So

Heather (27:09) just using common sense. It's similar to when you're in a hotel, like, you know, you don't want to take a lot of expensive jewelry and leave laying around and you know, but

But we haven't run into that. It's been very as far as losing they laundry, they do their laundry. Generally you might lose a shirt. You know, just like if you took stuff to a dry cleaner's but but no, we haven't lost anything of value. I I

Amy (27:33) feel I felt so bad during twenty twenty and and a lot of twenty twenty one too when there was all the shutdowns and you see all these videos and all these people so sad that they could not go. They'd be like outside the window with their loved one, but on the other side. And you had to do that.

Heather (27:51) Yeah. We did that. We in fact had the the choir came and sang to my brother Christmas carols outside the window d you know, and and and it was you adapted and adjusted and we could we did hire someone to come sit in there. They could have a professional person sit in there. We just couldn't they'd have to covet test every day and that kind of thing. So we could not go in there. But but as soon as we could, we were there and now you know, we're in there as often as we want and it's very open and everywhere is very open now.

Amy (28:18) What's

brother doing now?

Heather (28:20) About the same. I mean, he he's lost some more mobility, but it's been nine years. Right. And again, special needs makes it a little more complicated. But but he still has a good attitude and you know, he's still smiles when you walk in the room and have a conversation with yeah.

Amy (28:38) Speak to you. okay.

Heather (28:39) yeah. Okay. Yeah, he's verbal.

Amy (28:41) Okay.

Heather (28:42) Yep.

Amy (28:43) So trends, I want to talk about trends for the aging population. And I wanted to talk about that because I notice a trend in I think three or four of my friends have parents at one specific facility. And they their parents are living their best life at that place. Yeah. But I also know there's trends, other kinds of trends too, like, you know, we get away from the stigma of nursing home or the term old age home, which are hard to hear when they sound so old.

They sound so part of the past, maybe a little archaic, baby because a nursing home is truly people in beds who are

Heather (29:20) We still have skilled nursing facilities. Yes. those are required. I mean they there's certain care that a patient needs, you know, catheter, colostomy, things like that that are considered open wound that require skilled nursing. Right. So and the thing about that is again, you have people that are trained to handle those situations and the outcomes a lot better than those that aren't. Right. But as far as trends go, I mean

The population is aging rapidly, as you mentioned earlier, because of the massive baby boomers, right? Are all coming of age now. And so are and people are working longer. That's another thing that's very different. You've got more and more over sixty five continuing to work into your seventies. Retirement isn't as early as used to be, maybe. Women represent seventy percent.

of the assisted living residents.

Amy (30:21) Interesting.

Heather (30:22) Yeah. I think because they live longer than the men. Right. And so that's why it looks like that. And then you mentioned already that about eighteen percent of our population is sixty five or older. I mean expected to grow to like twenty five percent by twenty fifty four. So those are the main trends that I've seen or done, you know, a little bit of research on

Amy (30:44) You've definitely picked a niche that will sustain itself. Well definitely if if that kind of growth percentage and that kind of scaling is happening, you've definitely hit the nail on the head. I just

Heather (30:56) No, there's a need. It's such an unknown world and there's people out there that don't have families to help navigate that. I took over everything from my parents when it happened to my brother. It's like they just shut down and put all their attention and focus to my brother and I was like, There's still like stuff that has to happen and things that have to be done. And so that's kind of part of it too, is understanding the Medicare space, understanding the Medicaid space. Right. That is stuff that is so foreign to people they don't quite get and

We've got that to offer.

Amy (31:27) And like tr truly to the lay person, I mean, I wouldn't know where to begin. I mean, I remember when we were looking for my mother in law to move her here from Arkansas, we toured, I think, four facilities in the near I wanted her to be near us. Yes. I wanted her to be a ten minute drive from me. So if something happened or if she needed me, I could get there. Yes. And every place that we went was I was pleased with. And and one of my one of them, my friends

Dad was there. He he was a resident there. Early onset Alzheimer's. He was like in his early sixties. And I saw him there and I hadn't seen him there since he went there. He was as happy as could be.

Heather (32:09) It gives a new life to people. And that's the part I think families they think they're happiest at home, but in reality they're usually very lonely. You know, they don't get the visits that you think. Whereas in a facility, you're around other people all the time. As much or as little as you wanna be. Right. That's the nice thing. It's as much or as little as you wanna be. So if you have someone that likes all their quiet time and being inside their home and they're in their room, fine.

But if they want to be a part of the activities, they have constant activities in these places and like you said, I mean, most flourish and it extends their life.

Amy (32:49) Well, it's you know, I always like to talk to you know, I always think about when friends have a have a business or any kind of venture, there's always a why behind it. But your why is in front of it, which I think is super cool.

Heather (33:03) Thank you.

Amy (33:04) That, you know, you you've lived it, you've you've been in the trenches and you know your why. And I really don't think it's easy to succeed in any venture if you do not know your why. Sometimes you find out more whys along the way, but I think your why is like

you know, it's leading. It's the it's the it's the start of the train for you.

Heather (33:23) It is the burning platform is to get it right for people.

Amy (33:26) 'Cause you don't want people to go through what you've gone through. Exactly. And it's so complex and people are so it's emotional. Exactly. It's emotional looking at places. We were looking at places for my mother in law. Now, we never ended up bringing her here. She stayed in Arkansas and my father in law, Prince Charming, cared for her until they he finally waved the white flag and said, Okay, March of twenty twenty two, he her in a facility.

my husband had seen it and approved of it and all that. And then she passed away four months later. But not due to the facility, due to her disease progression. I mean, it was obvious that's what it was. But it's emotional and it's trying and it's stressful. But

Heather (34:11) And we want to take that out of it.

Amy (34:13) it's really awesome that you're why and you're you're living through it and kind of wanting to pay it forward and backward, I guess. Correct.

is awesome because you have a heart for it. You're not just doing it because it's a job. I mean, you left your good paying job. Like that is just another unbelievable. You gotta do a lot of praying to do that.

Heather (34:33) I did. A lot of prayer and I just felt like I was needing to do more and needing to get back and this is a good way for me to do that and to help others figure this out and show them and and get them through all those next steps. Love it. one of the things, you know so I started L L C back in May before I did this part because I wanna be all things for all seniors, you know, I wanna be able to talk about

the Medicare world and the supplements and things like that, life insurance annuities. My husband and his and my sister-in-law both do that. Okay. and so we've got that piece. And then we have this for the senior living. And then I'm gonna, you know, eventually partner probably with an elder lawyer. If you have any listeners that have one of those that want to talk, I would love to talk to them. But that's, you know, that's kind of the third piece of the puzzle to get that full one stop shop for all things senior and all things in that next step.

So that, you know, I wanna be that trusted guide for people and for your family, you know, to get through all those next steps when it comes time. So thank you so much.

Amy (35:42) For having me. I'm so glad to know all this because it is a niche that's going to grow and that we need it. But now it's time for rapid fire. And rapid fire is becoming quite exciting. People who have listened to the podcast are like one of my one of my guests said, no. but it's a fun little way to kind of wrap up the podcast. And I promise I won't embarrass you. And if you have anything that you're like, nope, don't want to, just just sit.

Heather (36:12) So long.

Amy (36:14) But what's a word to describe how this venture feels?

Heather (36:19) Exciting?

Amy (36:21) Okay. Any other words? lots. You can use more. Well,

Heather (36:25) Okay.

Amy (36:26) yeah, sometimes I like to do that because then people are like freezing up going, You put me on the spot. The first nobody knows the rapid fire questions.

Heather (36:34) First word to come to mind was exciting. But it's scary, right? I mean, like you said, I've left like a really great career to kind of venture off and do something on my own. So but I do have the faith and the belief that God's led me here and that he's gotten me all the way. So I'm just super excited.

Amy (36:54) What is a word to describe this mission?

I'm gonna answer for you and say it's your why. It's your why. Yes. Now you can answer for yourself. Not to be bossy, but I just thought I'd throw that in there because that keeps coming to my mind. It's your why. It's your why.

Heather (37:14) Absolutely.

I mean, ever since, you know, this happened with my dad and my brother both, you know, I've just had this nagging sensation that I need to do more, I need to give back, I need to help others get through this process 'cause it's so overwhelming and isolating. And so yeah, that is. It is my why and it is what my mission is, is to make it easier for other people.

Amy (37:39) What is something you wished every family knew about this?

Heather (37:47) It's important they know my story so they know that, you know, I have credibility.

Amy (37:52) Look at you getting back to that why.

Heather (37:55) Right. Right. That's the most important thing is that I'm in it for a different reason probably than most people. And I wanna make sure that we get it right.

Amy (38:05) Right.

I love it. What's a piece of advice you've received about anything in life?

Heather (38:10) Ooh, I've gotten good advice throughout my whole life.

You know

Amy (38:20) They always have to have one that stumps you guys.

Heather (38:23) Well that one is it because I get so much good advice and I give my kids this advice all the time, but that's make good choices. And you know, everything I look at is a choice, right? And figuring out what that right choice is is super important. So

Amy (38:37) Sweet or salty? That's an easy one. Salty. I like to give an easy one after Discall. Booker mo Booker movie.

Heather (38:43) movie.

Amy (38:44) All right. What's your most used app?

Heather (38:48) Most

Amy (38:49) It better be Spotify after this.

Heather (38:51) It probably will be Spotify after this. It's probably Netflix.

Amy (38:56) I love Netflix. I love all their true crime stuff.

Heather (39:00) Yes.

Amy (39:01) So since you went to the same high school with me, but you were two years above me, class of eighty nine? Okay, class of ninety, I was ninety one. What's your what's a what's a good high school memory?

The Academy. St. Agnes Academy graduates nineteen ninety and ninety-one in this podcast.

Heather (39:24) That's right. That's right. And my daughter was class of twenty three. All right. So that was pretty exciting, you know, when she was going there. But for me a good high I mean you know, s Spanish class with Mr. Martinez was probably my favorite memory there. I still see Amy Moody every week.

She's in great shape and I see Betty Pate is usually with her. So if they're listening, hello, a little shout out. So you know, the teachers

we're all s really the majority of them were really invested in us and our and you see out and they act like they still are your best friends, you know. So

Amy (40:02) Those were some patient educators when I was there. I I may have had a mischievous streak in me and the whole class of ninety one knew that. And several of them who I will not mention love to remind me of mischievous nothing terrible, but you know, every every class needs a clown. That was me. And then I decided, you know, I had to grow up at some point. So I left a little bit of a little of that behind. But it's changed so much. And I love to tell

Like young ladies who I meet or or daughters of friends who go there, I'm like, hey, if you can go look at the nineteen ninety one composite, go look at my hair. Because it was big. All of this. And my I had the very important responsibility of being the sergeant at arms. Now, whoever voted me who talks so much to be the one to quiet the class during our class meetings. I don't know what they were thinking, but there's that.

Heather (41:01) There's

Amy (41:01) That,

yeah. But a little proud St. Agnes graduates here. Yes. And I love seeing a St. Agnes graduate doing what you're doing. Like you're you're doing something and you're genuinely not look, anyone who leaves a perfectly good job to go out on a limb and try something from the ground up is bold and brave and amazing to do that. And I just know I almost get like shivers up my spine when I think about the why.

Because so many businesses don't have a why. And you can tell when a business doesn't have a why. And your why is, hey, I've been here, done that. Let me help you. Let's make it easier. Yes. So everybody, I'm gonna have Heather's website, information, everything on our podcast bio notes that come out with this. You can also reach me at Amy Keyspodcast at gmail.com with any questions about this podcast. And I can get you in touch with Heather.

Or you can also reach me at that Gmail also if you want to be on this podcast. That is actually how Heather came on. Heather was the first person to reach out to me at that email address and say, hey, I've got this going on. I would love to be on it. And 10 days later, here she is recording with a microphone. so no no nothing you come to me with is too big or too small. I mean, everybody has a story. So

It's Amy Keys, A-M-Y-K-E-Y-S, podcast at gmail.com. And we are on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Apple Music, now Audible, and apparently according to my husband on YouTube. But there's nothing to see because these are just recordings of vocals. I am not in a home office recording something yet, but maybe one day. I do have a goal that if I get to a certain number of listens, I will start.

recording visual as well. But that's my own goal. So everybody, I think in this, the takeaway here is know your why, be bold, do the things, get out there and use your life experiences to help others. And you are a walking, talking example of that. And I'm honored to have you here.

Heather (43:18) Well, thank you so much for having me and allowing my story to be shared. I really super appreciate it. And I I just think the world of doing so.

Amy (43:26) You too and and we wish you much luck. Link it we hope this podcast helps you thank you with your business venture. Everyone take care of each other and it's and this message too, I think today is it's okay to have someone help you lighten your load, right? Absolutely. And that's what your job is to do for other people. So y'all take care of each other and till next time.